Niya's Four Day Diet

DAY ONE--PMS
"I will never eat again!"

DAY TWO--PMS
"Since the body is mostly water I will not drink any water all day to make it evaporate.
--The brain is 75% water. But I'll take my chances."

DAY THREE--PMS (still)
"I'll eat one rice cracker and drink 1/2 glass of water. I'll call every chatty girlfriend I can think of to burn off calories on the phone. If I pass out, they won't notice. This will keep me away from soap operas and the mirror."

DAY FOUR--PMS (means 'possessed, mucky, shorter)
"I just poured dishsoap on the sherbet. It was staring me down. It was it or me. I did what I had to."

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List of what you'll need to loose 4 lbs in 4 days:

Water
Rice Crackers
Dish Soap (for evil foods in the house)
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Schedule:
PMS time.
When you look in the mirror a lot because you barely recognize your poofy cheeks.

• Fear based diets are in.
What do you think? Do I have a chance of making gazillions on this one?

Comments

[Simone]

Hmmm...could work. I have apple-scented dish soap. Would that work? It's in the fruit category, right?
;-)