The Monkey and The Rice

Headlines: Hungry monkeys get fist stuck in tree because it won’t let go of the warm rice inside to save its life. Reporters say: “It was so sad, they were just hanging there, all scraggly and whiny, almost dead from thirst and hunger”.

Okay, I exaggerate a bit.
The full story my Yoga teacher told us in class goes like this:

“An experiment was conducted on monkeys to determine the power of hunger, survival, etc. The researchers put a vat of warm, cooked rice in a tree near a bunch of hungry monkeys and made the hole to it only big enough for the monkey’s hand to go in un-fisted. When the hungry monkeys grabbed for the rice they couldn’t get their hands out because they wouldn’t let go of the rice. All they had to do was let go of the rice to get unstuck.”

So I’m thinking—of course they won’t let go, it’s not in their nature to anticipate human deception. My second thought was, poor little monkey didn’t know how to make their hand into a cup and gently pull it out the way it went in.

Well, as my Yoga teacher went on it was clear I missed the point entirely. As I lay in Shivasana-- all blissed out from the class being over, she was saying, “so what are your hungry monkeys that keep you stuck? All we need to do is let go of that thing that we want so bad and there is love all around. Everything we need is here now.

Given that the most interesting things that have happened in my life occurred as I was being a curious, hungry, little, dumb monkey-- I had to silently object. I growled a little listening to her. The man on my right side giggled. Maybe he felt confused as well?

How to keep ourselves aired, fresh and new enough to keep that imagination in full throttle -- the engine that creates those dreams and goals going-- while letting go of that warm, gushy rice we’re so hungry for. On second thought, squishy rice in my hands doesn’t seem very compelling. But you get my point. So I made this list that incorporates both the positive results of letting go of the rice and hanging on.

HUNGRY HUMAN GIRL GIVES IT UP = positive experiences, love and the like:

• At 32 years old I let go of the identity of tomboy long enough to understand what all the fuss is about with shoes and make up. It happened when I moved to Mill Valley and hanging out at Benefit Salon had as much ritualistic appeal as unity church or brunch with friends. I was technically a tomboy until then.
I got my eyebrows done, I gave up my staple; black boots and tried on heels (it lasted about 3 hours), and the best part; I figured out how to cover my freckles if I wanted to. Freckles are a choice. This was a very good thing—very, very, very good.

• A year later I gave up make up and kept perfume and took welding classes at this artist warehouse in Berkley Ca. I had my black boots back, the joys of no make up and not caring, and driving the men wild with the perfume. I learned that good perfume, good boots, a dirty face, a tank top and crappy overalls can be sexy. Who knew?

• When I gave up Dakota’s brother and got him a girl. A very hard thing to do. Stay tuned for the next blog to hear about the recent results just in.

• When I let go of my crazy making, New York, Jewish boyfriend and entered the world of silence and language in Portland. When life was about how beautiful the lights are in a city that can be so dark in the winter. When life was not about being filled with work and men I could hear myself think and I was surprised what I heard. Not a bad thing.

• When I let go of my Saab Convertible and decided to try car-less for a year because I couldn’t top the Saab. I bicycled and discovered a strength I never knew I had. And then bought a car and was happy to let that muscle atrophy.

• When I let go of my business in the bay area and painted dog portraits and did websites for artists while earning an MFA in fiction. Met some fabulous dogs.

HUNGRY HUMAN GIRL WON’T GIVE IT UP = positive experiences, love and the like:

• Being WILD: Lately I’ve heard rumors from people who knew me about a decade ago that surprise me and make me a little envious of my past self:

“Niya Christine had a lot of energy. She was wild; a lot of men.” --S.

“Wow, your paintings have really progressed. It’s great to be in touch with you again, you wild woman.”--A.

“Do you remember that party where you shmooshed chocolate pudding all over that guy’s face?” --Si.

Well clearly I’ve outsmarted the tree and ate a little too much rice. My life currently looks nothing like the above. But stay tuned, I have plans to change that.

MORE...

• Won’t give up the desire to be published. A good thing I'm hoping.

• Won’t give up the desire to learn how to cook like the Japanese. Love all around. Love in the rice. Love in the little green edamame beans, love in the kimono the cook wears to commerate the experience.

• Something I want real bad: porecelin fillings to replace the silver. Probably won't give this one up. Oh yes, can you feel the love of a mouth like when I was 7.

• Did not give up painting and writing overall, no matter the pressures to work in our work-a-bee society. I'm not sorry about that. Love everywhere when painting. It's a guarantee.

• Did not let go of swimming, mountain biking, yoga; these things I crave daily and feel more of that love she's talking about afterwards.

• And won’t give up on the dream of a goat, 5 chickens, many rabbits, a horse, a man who’s good with his hands (in the carpentry sense; get your mind out of the dirt! Tee hee), a big dog, a big studio, big travel, fabulous job or jobs, fabulous people who understand how religion and gorge bush shouldn’t go together but they do in this country, and space to weld and play the violin when necessary.

***
I wonder if it’s to not to let go of the rice when important decisions require care and time. Yet to not starve-- let go of a little rice, eat in small portions, slowly, look at the beautiful sky in the meantime and laugh at the hunger a bit--help out anther monkey in need…like that.

I don't know, I'm just a hungry monkey rationalizing the virtue of hunger. The buddhists would likely fire me.

Crap! I have this Yoga teacher again tonight.